This Night

venting a stream of bloody violence
merging in with the venom, cold
so cold was the faraway night of stillness
the drone was hurting the deaf ear
the crimson so painful to look at, even with the blind eye
walking away the pain numbs the heart and brain
the pain then becoming a way of 'becoming'
bearing in mind the souls are calling
wishing the path was not so crude
trudging along the path of self destruction
a freedom never known....
strange seems the awful light..
so piercingly wicked, wicked, wicked
evil takes over the heart and brain
conflict arises...
and yet the numbing becomes profound
too broken to battle these grounds
take what was mine, for i never really owned
take forever away
for its too long...
....
...
..

Candy Treat!

the little baby boy sat on the floor
legs crossed, arms open, a smile on his face like the morning sky
with eagerness so profound, he snatches the treats poured at him
his reality far away from the blissful sweetness it offers
gathers all, all that his tiny self could manage
weak from the lack of sleep, nutrition not knows of..
the body a twisted cage of bones over bones, the snap and crackle unpleasant to the ears
a reality, a hollow soul, not willing to acknowledge its purpose
.....
the eyes, a tender blue, so tender it might shatter at the slight blink
an image you wish to remember forever, hold it in your space, like something 'Divine'
an artist's very wish to proclaim a dying emotion
he tears his head away from the sweet, looks up, at you, at you
you hold the gaze, till it hurts the eye, trying not to blink, for you may lose the thread
a smile, so gradual, it looks almost perfect to capture
twinkle in the eyes, sweetness is the smile....
.....
twenty years down the line
all that remains is what you choose for to remain...
what remains, is what matters, and what matters is alas what remains
the child, no more a child, still lingers at the candy shop
walks in, buys a 'Treat'...holds it..
tears fill his eyes...
we do not know what may have occured
all we know is...candy treat..sweet as may be...feels bitter tonight!

Crazy Auto Bitches....!!!

So today, being the last day of my very first UNIVERSITY examinations, was one hell-o-va day!
the lights had decided to play hide and go seek the previous night and i was ready to jump off a hill and of course hope to DIE!
i got up late, and then had to revise all that i needed to at the speed of sound.
the sheets were bloody glossy, and half my concentration was on blowing air so that my pen's ink would dry well in time.
i think i misinterpreted a question, but all in all it was an examination done well.
anyway, this really isn't the purpose of my "radically" titled article. when i got off at the metro station, after attending repeated, almost life-endangering, calls from my sweet ma, i was ready to sit in the first blessed auto that came my way and pay through my nose if i had to.
but alas! as luck would have it. no bloody (read earlier : blessed) auto would stop my way. "gas nahi hai" seemed like the perpetual cry. so, me on the verge of completely losing it, decided to walk the path a little to try and get an auto. so you see, this is how it works, when you move from your previously occupied place all the auto-wallahs decide to stop there. it seems like all the forces were against me. god! (cannot believe I just said that) i could've killed someone.
well, soon (read : after 30 Minutes) i got lucky and managed to get an auto. who charged me quite a bit, but oh well! daddy pays ( :D)
so the real purpose (yes, there is one) for me to write this article is to point out the faults of our machinery. machinery here being the system of course. yes yes, we all hate the system! could dig its grave if possible. a system which allows the auto-wallah to become a sort of "god" who to be pleased and carry out his prescribed duty, has to be coaxed and cajoled and made happy! this according to me, SUPER SUCKS!
now, this is their JOB! J.O.B!!!!! they are supposed to use their meters and they are NOT supposed to charge exorbitant rates according to their own whims and fancies. and don't you just hate it when they give you the "oh! I'm so pathetic,i should just die" speech. for god's sake! if i was in a brilliant position myself, i wouldn't be in your fucking auto!!!!! its absurd to me how they can refuse you to take you someplace they don't "wish" to go. its like my mother saying, i don't feel like playing mom today. the whole situation leaves me flabbergasted! I'm shocked to see my fellow human beings become like this... yes!! i can be MELODRAMATIC.. i have to go through this every single day. its no joy-ride i tell you!
although, i know none of the people who matter and are within the system are going to be reading this, i still choose to write it.
why you may ask. because I'm fed up, I'm fed up of it all...
:(

The Exam...

Over the past few days i had been having doubts on my choice.. on the path i decided to tread upon a few months ago after the 'dreaded' board results...which btw, are wayyyy overrated!!! anyway, so my confusion arose after i realised what little progress i had made on the path of becoming a literature enthusiast...how my desire and passion was hollow and i hardly had any measures to back it up..i realised my standing was at stake...i was out in the world where everybody was working towards achieving the same goals as myself and that i was not alone in this endeavour..my nervousness was at an all time high...i was considering options..considering 'RUNNING AWAY' from all this and hiding in the safety of a so called 'secure' profession...which might have been of any kind...
then...a flash of light...a thunder sound..a raindrop drying the desert...ok ok...I'm being melodramatic...well...something hit me..and i realised what an arse i was being!
this is what i was meant to do...and this was the right path for me..my destiny...my future dwells on the path of all consuming literature..prose and poetry alike...
so then i managed to take my exams with a certain air of confidence...i did just alright really...but still...the fact remains...i didn't give up..!!
don't worry...I'm not going to get all preachy and turn this into some sort of lecture..this piece is really just for me..just me telling a friend...just me venting..
;)

see you! bye-bye

starry is this night boundless
creatures roam in a secretive bounce
the vicious beasts have all been rocked
your arm caressed the life in me..
rampant were the calls of the wild
an eagle circling the sky scavenging prey
the eyes seem to well up at the sight of the morning twilight
reminding you of the pain of today, the tomorrow waited upon...
feel the night...feel its call...pay no heed...the storm shall rise
subside, will this pain i assure..
you are my keeper..my soul's delight..
the wonder of it all...too large to keep in hindsight..
rage..rage of fire...fire envelops..
crying are the 'lost souls'..preaching to a warden in the skies
apprehensions have all been sorted..
windy gusts doth take me forward..black pools of surrender no more
thoughts are filling the spaces empty..feeling the vacuum within a sphere
'meaningless' don't make anymore validation
curse thy happenings of the heart...
creatures of the night...rise above their feast of desire..
dreaded is the path one has to travel on
living for the sake of living are the dreams and aspirations..
confused...for even..sanity makes no sense..
leave alone the ponds of blood...dried up flakes...
keep the sentiments..
let them flourish...
darn! the monsters beneath my bed..
eating the capsules...
eating..
eatin..
eati..
eat..
ea..
e..

why?

the venom flows through the veins of the serpent
she struts her stuff in an obvious way
the dark alleys her own desire
she walks in a suggestive way...opening the realm of morality 'questioned'
windy, dark....the city life..
the overcrowding hustle bustle keeps her alive
won't you come over? won't you redeem her?
"ha! redemption...she is not worthy of such"
sanity...a phrase too long to comprehend
shut out the shutterbugs...close the windows of tomorrow..
speak a language...only sounds i can relate..
bleeding...bleeding potions of love..the shatters and splinters...far away from..
seemingly smart...her serpentile ways...
the tears that sparkle..."oh! get out of my way!"
random remarks...dont break the soul...
soul?? for what it matters...she bears no more..
a leading path to destruction of the selves...
a mirror reflecting the self of the self
can you capture this moment in time??
freeze those tears and burn them alive...
coming down to reality's door
a window pane...a window, just, really...coming down and down
a frenzy of sorts...a pop of the bubble...
"hey there cowboy"
she returns to her endeavours....
calmly...she looks at the back...
no beacon shouts...no bugle sings....
the tear...too precious than pearl...drops to the ground
hisss hisss hisss
and then the venom...
takes it all...

variables...

a shadowy haze in the open fields;
the blocked out passages leading to heaven's abode
the youthful cry of a young one's birth
chirrupy chirrupy goes the humdrum!
when art merges with reality fantastical
you deem to realise the worth of the virtue on hand..
embodied as a soul of 'no well being'
you hope...you die in hope..
mountain ranges take the sun away
the light too strong...it stings...it pains
blackness too black for even the dark got scared away
shining armours of men too far away...distant lands...of fairies and pixies..
elves and gnomes...hidden in the frosty igloos..
tomorrow exudes a blessed "GLOW"
a winter's tale...told by a marsupian...shallow....low...

The Pushing Lady..

the poetry of the time is reflected in the eyes of the peddlar
the canvas speaks volumes through the splash of colour
a string of thought pulled by a vision
the dreamer dreams of a world beyond destinations
a hope only living till the living would die

a roamer on the steets of L.A
a figment of her 'after hours' imagination
a pushing daisy..a smell so sweet
a thought inflicted pain...pain too large to inhale

a wanderer in the alleys of chandni chowk
a sleepless night spent in agony of the thoughtless worth
a creeping realisation of destinies far divided
the need of the hour becomes the hope of tomorrow

lived too long in the sightless morning
the road too long to travel in a day
a lie told to cover up the inevitable truth
a slap on the face of all the morons who thought they could..

a need is expressed...
a desire worshipped...
the 'GOD' is witnessed...
the light too strong...

hurt is enjoyed...
in the hope of a no hope tomorrow...
the condition is the same...
the sacrifice dwelt upon...

turn to you...
turn to you...
turn to you...

a 2 a.m. revelation...

no wonder they all love...i see their past lovers...and i feel pity..i feel pity for all of us...cus i had perfection which i can never have again and they will never know perfection...the web weaver just weaves a tangle of obsessions...a need...a drive...a force...perfect...perfection needs to be achieved..and then it dawns...this burning realisation...an escape seems inevitable...the morality is questioned...why are there no answers?? screams and shouts...deafen me tonight...for it makes no worth...pointless seem the endeavours...pointless seems this ride...i am the destination..i for once will not become a destiny..i will not be their evil desire...a frutation of odds...you are of no worth...my worth is realised...my dream lives in another...i'm not sorry...i will never feel...feeling is pain...pain is pointless..its another thread on the web..woven to be believed...existence questioned..